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showAuth({"version":"1.0","encoding":"UTF-8","entry":{"xmlns":"http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom","xmlns$blogger":"http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008","xmlns$georss":"http://www.georss.org/georss","xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-708938817000327103.post-4029582522616323818"},"published":{"$t":"2010-09-05T21:45:00.000+09:30"},"updated":{"$t":"2016-08-08T13:15:19.515+09:30"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Columns"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":""},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003Cdiv class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003E\n\u003Ca href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-oJWE8IV7cUo\/UrLwtPg4bII\/AAAAAAAAA1Q\/ifSsLKazQRU\/s1600\/port-col-fashion.jpg\" imageanchor=\"1\" style=\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003E\u003Cimg border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-oJWE8IV7cUo\/UrLwtPg4bII\/AAAAAAAAA1Q\/ifSsLKazQRU\/s1600\/port-col-fashion.jpg\" \/\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nIF you’re ever in doubt of your true age pick up a copy of your local street press. You’ll find out pretty quickly just how old you really are.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nTake me, for example. I may be only a few weeks shy of 30, but after leafing through some local street rags\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nrecently I have discovered I am actually about 82.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nWhereas 10 years ago I’d gladly read about new bands, new songs and what brand of sneakers we should all currently be wearing, this time after flipping through a number of feature articles, fashion spreads and social photos my only thoughts were: ‘‘What the hell band is that?’’ and ‘‘That girl should really put on a cardy’’.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Ca name='more'\u003E\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cdiv style=\"text-align: center;\"\u003E\n-oOo-\u003C\/div\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nIF you’re over the age of 25 and labouring under the delusion that you’re still ‘‘cool’’, I’ve got news for you: you’re probably not.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n(I say ‘‘probably’’ in case this magazine has somehow found its way into Johnny Depp’s loungeroom and he is currently reading it, in which case – hi! You are still cool. Also, please don’t make any more pirate movies, thanks.)\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nI hate to break it to you, but unless you’re regularly featured on \u003Ci\u003ERage \u003C\/i\u003Eor in the credits of Quentin Tarantino\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nfilms, once you find yourself in the back end of your 20s you automatically become so uncool you might as well be your own parents.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nAny older and you might as well open your own socks and sandals boutique, selling novelty ties on the\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nside - THAT’S how cool you are.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nYou may feel permanently 21 and hip, but if you’re ever in doubt of your true age pick up a copy of your\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nlocal street press. You’ll find out pretty quickly just how old you really are.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nTake me, for example. I may be only a few weeks shy of 30, but after leafing through some local street rags\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nrecently I have discovered I am actually about 82.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nWhereas 10 years ago I’d gladly read about new bands, new songs and what brand of sneakers we should all currently be wearing, this time after flipping through a number of feature articles, fashion spreads and social photos my only thoughts were: ‘‘What the hell band is that?’’ and ‘‘That girl should really put on a cardy’’.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nI’m only a few steps away from whacking youngsters with my handbag for not standing up for adults on the bus.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nI shouldn’t have been surprised - I’ve been aware of my gradual journey down the slippery slope to dagdom for some time.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nIt all started about three years ago when I noticed floral vests for sale in a shop in Rundle Mall. And young girls were buying them.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nFLORAL VESTS.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nWorse than that, they were teaming them with high waisted stone-wash denim shorts and patterned tights - willingly!\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nIt was like a long lost video clip from Girlfriend - I kept expecting Robyn Laou to burst out of the changerooms and for everyone to break into a few bars of Take It From Me.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nIt was then that I realised the unthinkable had happened - the ‘90s had become cool again. All of a sudden two decades had passed, and snap-in-the-crotch bodysuits were suddenly de jour once more.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nAnd the trend hasn’t slowed down: now every time I venture into the Mall it’s like I’m being haunted by the Ghosts of Fashions Past.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nMy mother warned me about this day. I remember when I was about 15 raiding her wardrobe and finding a heap of ‘70s fashion pieces hidden at the back - leather coats, platform shoes, bodyshirts, flares. I’d struck the jackpot.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n‘‘Why didn’t you TELL me you had all this cool stuff?’’ I wailed.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n‘‘Darling, it’s not cool when you actually lived through it the first time,’’ she said.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nNow, surrounded by teenage boys in tight bleached jeans and Wayfarers and girls in sunflower print dresses and floppy hats, I finally understand what she meant. None of it looks cool to me, which of course just means that I am now utterly, drastically and irreparably UNcool.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\nC’est la vie. I guess it had to happen – we can’t all be Johnny Depp. But if I ever see someone in happy pants or a Hypercolour T-shirt, I really will whack them with my handbag.\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Cbr \/\u003E\n\u003Ci\u003EFirst published in the Sunday Mail, September 5, 2010.\u003C\/i\u003E"},"link":[{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/708938817000327103\/posts\/default\/4029582522616323818"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http:\/\/www.blogger.com\/feeds\/708938817000327103\/posts\/default\/4029582522616323818"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http:\/\/www.petrastarke.com\/2000\/11\/if-youre-ever-in-doubt-of-your-true-age.html","title":""}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Unknown"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"16","height":"16","src":"https:\/\/img1.blogblog.com\/img\/b16-rounded.gif"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-oJWE8IV7cUo\/UrLwtPg4bII\/AAAAAAAAA1Q\/ifSsLKazQRU\/s72-c\/port-col-fashion.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"}}});